Huzzah! The SECOND adventure begins!

I know! I'm surprised too! Seriously, I think I might have an addiction starting with this blogging thing, but it's fun... So I shall continue for the sake of my READERS! Plus, I'm really enjoying myself! DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE LITTLE TANGENTS I GET ON INSTEAD OF GETTING STRAIGHT TO MY STORY?! Thanks, I like them too!

Let me just take another moment to find some AWESOME pictures! This gosh darned internet! DIE!

Here it is! What you have all been waiting for! My FIRST, well actually SECOND encounter with a dragon!

We've gotten past the point where I returned the dragon dohickey thing. Now I can proceed to tell you all about my encounter with a DRAGON! DRAGON! YEAH! I love me some dragons. I can't think of any other game in which dragons are as exciting. In order to receive the honor of fighting my first ever dragon, I have to be FORCED (not really, at this point it's more like "Am I going to fight a dragon now? Am I going to fight a dragon NOW? AM I GOING TO FIGHT A DRAGON NOW?!") to tag along with the DEG (refer to previous posts for the definition of DEG) and her cohorts. Of course, we couldn't go slay a dragon without a pep talk from the DEG and a huge morality boost. That accomplished, we head out... TO SLAY SOME DRAGON!

I want to do this SO BAD! If I could find a way to jump that far and a dragon stupid enough to fly that close to a cliffedge, my life would be complete!

After running back and forth from the quest marker and to my SLOWER THAN SLUGS hunting party, we decide "Oh, hey! Let's chill behind this rock and see if there's a dragon still around, because there is no WAY that dragon can see us hiding back here." Actually, I have to give DEG more credit, if ever I was in a real life war situation, I would probably want to be under her unit because she watches out for her people... and verbally abuses the men if they are too wimpy to go fight a dragon... WIN! We are promptly given orders to check out the destroyed tower for survivors and to keep an eye out for any dragons. Easy enough, we run out there only to be yelled out by a survivor we're looking for that the dragon is BACK!

This is the moment when I heroically shout "BRING IT!" and slay the dragon with my awesome and amazing skills as a WARRIOR! ... This did not happen... In actuality, I flee into the tower and let all the guys outside take the heat. I know! What an awful thing to do! Leave your comrades out there to die?! Seriously, who does that? I'm sorry, okay?! I'm SORRY! I panicked! This is my first time ever attempting to SLAY a dragon! I mean, come on! Give me a break! I had to run this dialogue through my head in order to gain the nerve to venture to the top of the tower and check out the dragon.

Yep... Still very intimidating...

After spinning around like an idiot trying to locate the red marker on my compass, I see the dragon. It is a life changing event for me. It swoops down from the sky and hovers over its enemies breathing a molten jet of flame over them! It was so COOL! I loved it and yet I still had to slay it. Problem. Despite my conflicting feelings, I take out my bow and promptly shoot dozens of arrows at the thing like a barrage of steel tipped DEATH! .... *sigh* I miss a lot. Then... The unspeakable happens. The dragon takes notice of ME. This is because it has already made short work of everyone below, and I'm the only one left.

Don't panic. Don't panic. DON'T PANIC! I go into panic mode. I run back into the tower and wait for it to pass. I take a peak outside through a window and get FLAMED! Heal, heal, heal! Then my warrior mode kicks in. "That dragon has only a smidge of health left. You could take it down with a few more arrows." Good GOD! Warrior mode is right! Let's do this thing! I run outside shoot another volley of arrows, miss most of them, hit the dragon once, get FLAMED, run back inside the tower, and heal. Phew... Only two more to go!

This final moment is really special. I prepare to shoot the dragon one FINAL time and defeat the evil menace. I feel very epic pointing my arrow down at the dragon from the top of the tower, a dragon who is so tired and beaten up that he can't even fly. *soft inner sob* It looks up at me, and I look down at it. It FLAMES me and I SHOOT it! The dragon dies, I run down the tower, and YIPPEE! I absorb the dragons SOUL! I am DOVAKHIM!

Now I get the run down. Arnold Schwarzeneeger guy tells me that "You. You are dragonborn!" Of course, the whole time I'm absorbing the dragon's soul before this, I am shouting to the world "I'M DRAGONBORN!" Nonetheless, I let him shower me with awe and praise, and even get to shout above his head... He was thoroughly impressed.

I shout like THIS! Except I'm a woman and look much prettier.

Shouting is by far my favorite aspect of this game. I literally run around shouting people down wherever I go. Dragons included. I no longer feel empathy for these things like with the first one, now I just want their souls so that I can unlock more shouts. Plus, they show up EVERY time I fast travel somewhere, so there is definetly no shortage of dragons. Which brings me to another aspect of the game I find enjoyable: the EPIC music that plays whenever you're about to fight a dragon! It's amazing. One moment you're strolling through the woods, scaring all the wildlife, when DUN-DUN-DUH! Epic music starts playing! Ugh! I love it! I always spin around like a moron looking for that red mark on my compass, it's quite comic actually.

These and many other reasons are why I love Skyrim so much, but since I am so burnt out on Skyrim at the moment I am typing this blog. We'll see how long this lasts. Probably only until I get another video game to engross myself in, then I'll write another blog. Yay! The cycle continues. Seriously, though, if you haven't played Skyrim yet go out and get it. Right now!

A game of the ages! SKYRIM!

Don't worry, I'm not finished with this blog yet! How could I be when Skyrim has over 3000 hours of gameplay?

This FIRST Adventure in Skyrim is taking forever!

Here it is! The LONG awaited conclusion to my FIRST adventure in Skyrim. I know you can hardly contain yourself but hold on! I would like to take this time to tell you that this has been such a wonderful learning experience in which I have learned new ways to enhance my blog. For example, adding exciting things like CAPS and exclamation points! Also, pictures which there have been three of! (I must again thank my most wonderful friend for showing me how to do this faster since my internet is such a slowslowslowlslow...slow...slow..sl...o....w.... You get the idea. Anywho, thank you my wonderful readers who NEVER comment, but enjoy the content all the same. I thank you... again!

I shall now tell you of my adventure into the draugr infested cave that holds the weird dragon plate thing that will save all of SKYRIM! It's not actually that important. Nonetheless, I BRAVELY my stupid cat wants love and attention and is seriously disturbing my typing! I BRAVELY enter the ruins after defeating some bandits camped outside. My stolen horse of course helped me. Stupid cat quit waving your butt in my face! I love my kitty, I really do. Don't mistake these sudden outbursts for abusiveness, because I have never EVER abused my precious kitty. She doesn't even know to stay away when we are doing target practice with our guns... She likes to chase the wood that spurts out the back... Which could include an occasional bullet... ANYWAYS, OFF THE SIDETRACKING! I enter the FREAKING ruin!

This isn't it. I'm just too lazy to look for the actual one.

Of course, this is my first time entering one of these ruins, and my friend who shall remain unnamed did not forwarn me about anything. I'm assuming this was to enhance the gameplay. It worked. I enter all "la di da di day!" and BAM! Draugr right in my face hacking and slashing at me! My stupid cat is trying to steal my chocolates! MY CHOCOLATES! NOOOOO! DON'T YOU DARE KNOCK DOWN THAT WATER! phew... all good. I dispatch the first draugr with minimal panic which included screaming and lots of button mashing. Good times. I proceeded much more cautiously. I trekked through the rest of the dungeon crouched. I felt like a creeper.

There we go! A picture that accurately shows the TERROR of this MUMMY!

Just wait. I'm adding another picture! OH the EXCITEMENT! Stupid internet....

This picture surprisingly makes sneaking look cool... Something I did not accomplish myself.

Finally, I decided "You know what? Screw the draugr! I'm SPRINTING through this thing!" Of course, after acquiring an entourage of draugr trying to kill me, I promptly died... I screamed and panicked the whole time too. I opted out for the sneaking scheme again and emerged VICTORIOUS! HUZZAH! I hacked and slashed my way through those bad boys and even lead them into traps that could be considered low, but I... am a WARRIOR! I defeated them and stole all their LOOT! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I shall henceforth be known as "THE CONQUEROR OF THE WEAK!" including a side caption of how often I weep bitter tears over all the junk I have to drop in order to pick up more junk... sigh...

Fastforward, I get the tablet, return to Whiterun, give the tablet to sucky voice actor mage, and am assigned my SECOND adventure! I must say this one is much more exciting.. MUCH MORE! I get to encounter my first EVER....! Cliffhanger! Mah!

My FIRST Adventure in Skyrim Paaaart 2!

I have to admit... This is a MIRACLE! I didn't think that I would be capable of updating so soon. Instead of going over the joys of my success I will proceed to tell you of my visit to the Jarl.

Finally, I had made it to Dragonsreach after spending several minutes selling my crap to all the local merchants. I was in awe as I approached the huge structure knowing that I had obtained the best possible price for all my goods at my current speech level. This was going to be an epic day in the world of Skyrim.

Now I shall interrupt this blog with a brief picture of this structure, so that my readers KNOW exactly what I am talking about. I must also thank a friend of mine for showing me how to upload these pictures with such speed and grace that I can't even tell that my internet is slower than an extinct dinosaur.

Look at it's magnificence! What amazing architecture! Such pristine atmosphere!

Now that you KNOW what it is that I'm talking about I shall continue my tale. Upon approaching the massive double doors, I steal myself for the awesomeness that I am about to experience. With baited breath I activate the door and... MY STUPID GAME FREEZES!! You could not BELIEVE my fury! I cussed up a storm as I stood up and went around to my PS3 and forcefully shut it DOWN. I returned to my seat, rearranged myself, and waited what felt like hours for my PS3 to reanimate itself...

All is not lost. Luckily, I am one of those people who saves so often that they find their game is slowing down before they have even played it for a week. Phew. NOW I quickly race up the steps to the Jarl's house, activate the door, and silently pray that the game will not freeze. It doesn't. I successfully enter Dragonsreach and begin my ascent to the Jarl's throne. Then to my astonishment a Dark Elf lady draws her sword and starts walking towards me threateningly. I decide that instead of allowing her to approach me, I will play a demented game of tag around the central fire pit. Needless to say she did not react to this and continued her pursuit of me with her menacing gaze and creeping feet.

That would be her. She's on the RIGHT! The FAR right!

I wish I could find better pictures of what I'm looking for, but since I have forgotten her name and can't find anything when I google "Skyrim: dragonsreach jarl's bodyguard" I have settled with this. I'm sure it would help if I could remember what her name is, but I'm just not coming up with anything.

Once tired of our little dance around the fire, I proceed to dash towards the Jarl and talk to him before his Dark Elf bodyguard can even touch me! Ha! The Jarl was none too pleased with that, but he apparently didn't understand that I was someone important and if he wanted to continue his role of being a key helper in all of this, he would need to be more courteous. ANYWAY, after that, things went swimmingly. I explained to him that "ALL HELL HAS BRAKEN LOOSE AND DRAGONS ARE SWOOPING AMONG US!" He keeps his cool and orders me and his DEB (Dark Elf Bodyguard) to go check out a nearby tower... WAIT! That happens after I go hunting in some ruins that I get killed many times by stupid draugr to find some dragon plate thing.

Okay, backtracking here. I approach the Jarl and tell him about dragons and the weather and ask him all sorts of questions about himself, and then finally go off to his mage guy. I find HIM in a side room doing magey stuff and activate talk to him. I gag. His voice actor is GOD AWFUL! It has to do with the way he enunciates stuff! It's horrid! Despite that, I persevere. He explains to me that blah blah blah he needs this artifact to help him protect the Reach from dragons, so "Okay, I'll go get this dragon plate thing." He does forworn me that I will more than likely die on this endever... He is correct... Multiple times...

THIS has been a very successful blog I'd say, and I will update eeeventually on what happens inside the stupid draugr infested tomb where I successfully locate the stupid dragon plate thing and return to the REach. Did I mention I stole a horse? I'll get to that later. For now enjoy this post and admire the two pictures!

My FIRST adventure in Skyrim

I guess if I'm going to tell my wonderful tales of my adventures in Skyrim then I might as well start at the begininning. And since I can't figure out how to start a new post in this thread and I don't really care to take the time to figure it out then this is the way it shall go... for now...

My journey started as everyone elses in Skyrim, EXACTLY the same. I am a convict of unknown ethnicity riding on a carrage that I apparently am capable of sitting perfectly straight in even on steep inclines. As I wake I am greated by a nord who is kind enough to encourage all aboard that we should remember our homelands before our impending decapitation. Of course, Ulfric Stormcloak is introduced, but more on him later (He is a horrible person).

I am waiting oh so patiently for a picture to download so that I can add it to this blog and add ATMOSPHERE! Too bad my internet is slower than a slug with arthritis (no idea). Finally!

I know this isn't the actual carriage the hero arrives in. I KNOW!!

I'll just skim over the rest that happened. I decided to be an Imperial who is blind. Both eyes mind you. I followed the Stormcloak and have decided to go with that side, even though it is APPARENTLY the wrong side. I do believe that is totally up to the player though.

Now, after being rescued by the main enemy of this tale, Alduin (Did I mention that there would be spoilers?) I set out on my journey to Whiterun... One that involved steep cliffs and short bursts of sprinting. I believe I made record time.

Sadly, because my internet is so horribly slow I won't be adding anymore pictures... When I have more TIME (which I do have but I don't want to spend working on this blog) I will add more PIZAZZ. Thank you for your understanding.

Anywho, moving right along. On my arrival to Whiterun my initial reaction is "I need to sell all of my crap that is weighing me down." Thank God there is a black smith right there to buy all my unwanted junk. After that I proceeded to Dragonsreach. Where I will soon meet the Jarl... I'll leave it there for a sort of cliff hanger effect so that I can actually figure out what exactly I'm going to write so that it is more entertaining for my two followers and myself.

Enjoy!