My DESTINY!

You know, it's really hard to decide on what adventures to tell you about, besides the constant spelunking and dungeon diving. Dontcha worry, though! Since, right after I defeated my FIRST ever dragon I had to return to the Jarl and confess to him that "Yeah, I'm kinda somebody called the 'Dragonborn' and I have a destiny waiting out there for me so...."

Oh, yes! The epicness! Now begins my journey towards DESTINY!

Of course, since I have absolutely no clue what the Dragonborn is (not ME, my CHARACTER has no idea what the dragonborn is) the Jarl suggests I go to... WAIT! You know how after I defeat the dragon I loot it's body and pick up all its bones and scales? That part? Okay, good! I walk ever so slowly back to Whiterun. In fact, I walk back so slowly it makes my internet look fast... That is an amazing accomplishment. That's not the exciting part, though... As I approach the huge gate to Whiterun, the world comes to an END! No, that doesn't actually happen, but my controller shakes and the screen shakes and my character shakes... and an almighty voice shouts "DOVAKHIM!" Ever since this part in the game, this is what I expect God to say when the end really does come.

Now, we can get to the part when the Jarl sits there all cool like while telling me that "Well, if you really are the Dragonborn, you should go see the Graybeards." I follow his guidance like one of his well trained lackies. What else am I going to do? Complete every OTHER quest before the main one? .... Hmmmmm.... Tempting...

You can picture it, right? This dude shouting "DOVAKHIM!" For some reason, though, I only imagine him saying it in a creepyish whisper... *dovaaakhiiiiiiiiiiim*

Don't worry, I don't actually go off and complete every other quest before this one. I come here because I don't want to miss out on the EPICNESS that is the Graybeards. They're actually not that amazing, and the only things they have going for them is their location and their boss... Who I shall not reveal to you because it would be MAJOR spoiler. Just kidding! Their boss is named Parthunax and he ISSSSSSSSS!!!! How many times will I have to say it? I'm not going to spoil you until the time comes, and you can enjoy the shock and awe I felt when I learned the truth! Just once, it would seem. UNLESS, I feel like toturing you with the fact that I know more than you do, and you're not going to learn about it until near the end... Which will be awhile!

Forget that tangent! I'm REALLY going to the Graybeards because, after this... I will be able to fight dragons all over the place! This is what my friend told me, and apparently it's not totally accurate. If you want to fight dragons before seeing the Graybeards, you CAN! This is just one of the features of Skyrim that makes it so awesome. You can go anywhere, do anything, WHENEVER you want! Yay! Even though in the larger scheme of things you can mess up the order of doing things, and you will probably be going back to many dungeons you were in before to obtain various junk for other people... redundancy... which leads to... BOREDOM!

Guess we could do the main quest now, I 'spose.

I have to admit how short sighted I was when I took on this quest. I left my stolen horse at the bottom of the mountain and hiked up the BILLION steps on foot... Not one of my brightest moments, but in my defense: horses seem to have problems running up stairs. Even though in everything ELSE: they deny the laws of physics.

Can't get up that sheer rock wall? Ride a horse!

Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I see a shrine with various goodies around it and a HUGE chest of what has GOT to be important stuff. I grab everything else, and then approach the chest, as I activate it, I notice right before it opens that my pointer had said Chest (empty).... you b******! After all that ridiculous climbing, nearly getting mauld by a troll, and having to make sure Lydia didn't get accidently killed by me (I will explain who Lydia is in her own little post, because there is just so much that happens to her that she needs the room!) and you leave me with THIS?! An EMPTY epic chest? Really? For real? Seriously? ..... WHY?! Well, I'll tell you, since nobody else will. Ahem. According to the story, and if you really care about the depth of the world created AND if you listened to the two guys down at the bottom talking about bringing supplies to the Graybeards, THEN you would know.

See? They don't talk to YOU, they talk to Klimmek... Whoever that is....

Soooooo, after eavesdropping on their conversation, I KNOW what that chest is for, but I was just in denial about it. I wanted there to be something in there that would be useful to me, since... you know... I'm the Dragonborn and all... *cough* In reality, there is nothing in there because the guy who was SUPPOSED to put stuff in there didn't do what he was SUPPOSED to do as the delivery boy because he's a woose! Hear that, Klimmek?! You're a little PANSY! Now I don't get my loot because you're afraid of a few wolves and a TROLL! Come on! One troll can't kill you! (Actually, they can! Especially in the beginning of the game, where everyone else is a weak mortal taken down by stupid mudcrabs). ...Now you know the truth. No matter how much you want to deny it, that first epic chest is empty because it was supposed to be filled with supplies for the Graybeards, but idiot, fool, pansy Klimmek did not do his job properly, and we all have to deal with the consequences. Even though there are going to be numerous other epic chests, this is just pathetic. Who knows how helpful that loot could have been in the beginning of them game when we were all weak and defenseless and all we have for backup is Lydia-who-gets-in-my-way-and-gets-killed-by-me-all-the-time? We'll never know because Klimmek is a useless delivery boy and can't make this delivery because YOU KNOW WHAT?! FORGET ABOUT KLIMMEK! LET'S JUST GET ON WITH MY DESTINY!

I just... I just want one good picture of my destiny. Just ONE! It is turning out to be difficult to capture this in a picture, but I'm looking! I WILL find a picture! Unless, I get too lazy and opt out for one that is marginally epic... Come on, people! I'm not asking for a lot! I'm only asking that you accurately capture all my thoughts and feelings in an epic picture portraying my destiny. Stupid internet and your slowness.

I could say something like this: "SKYRIM is my destiny!" Which wouldn't be a total lie...

Woah... I believe, ladies and gentlemen, that I have gotten to the HEART of this! My DESTINY is to conquer AAAALLLLL of Tamriel! Or at least as much as possible! While I go do that you people are responsible for holding down the fort! Wish me luck!